Opinions Required

[Jimjim3DX]

This is the same character as in Busty Raider the game must be called Busty Raider 2.

Why does this even have to be the same Lara parody character from Busty Raider? It was never intended as a sequel. It's not your idea so why do you have any say in this?

Whatever. If Kelumir wants to alter his idea for you that's his business, personally I think that the transformation being permanent is part of what makes the idea hot but it doesn't really matter to me either way. I just don't understand what the point of this argument is, when you can just submit a busty raider sequel later and it doesn't have to be affected by this game's continuity at all.

[Kelumir]

Has anyone seen this? Someone's using my parody for a basis for their "idea" and it hasn't even won yet. XD

I must admit that I like the concept though. So I'm not sure if I should be amused or annoyed.

[Jimjim3DX]

Yeah pretty silly. Mixes two other peoples ideas together and doesn't even bother to write a script or at least name the other characters.

[crocdeloup]

hello, which one could check the mistakes on my next submission ?

Title: PKMN: Road to Hoenn
Scenario: 2 friends discover the existence of a Pokémon league a little peculiar to Hoenn.
Indeed, this year the first donating challenger is the first league and as a trainer to beat a champion to ask him, please choose who cannot refuse.

Characters
- Hero (Brice): https://pre00.deviantart.net/4777/th/pr ... 7lmeus.png

- Rival (Paul): https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/pok ... 0918003628

- Roxanne:
https://archive-media-1.nyafuu.org/vp/i ... 867693.png
body:
https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post& ... id=1571161

- Flannery:
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/ori ... 49/06c.png
Body: https://rule34.xxx//images/2030/c2d3e6e ... eg?2198362

- Winona: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/pok ... 1227194703
Body + clothes for sex scene:
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/ori ... 5/cb1.jpeg

- Phoebe:
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/ori ... 34/348.jpg
body: http://lotus.paheal.net/_images/e0bf3b5 ... rkyman.jpg

- Glacia:
https://orig00.deviantart.net/fc0a/f/20 ... 8xyrqg.jpg
body:
https://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/194 ... arch=Boris

scenario:
scene 1: Brice is at his friend Paul's place, they watch the TV map at:

Brice: we are bored seriously in our lost village!

Paul: Your reason for being our daughter Age here. (Brice and Paul are 20 years old)

TV: an advertisement passes ...
Are you bored in your quiet life?
Become a trainer now!
The Hoenn area is waiting for you!
And to motivate you this year the Pokémon League of Hoenn organize a special event!
The first trainer so it's the first league Pokémon to defeat every champion can ask what he wants the champion (private training, free trip, money!) Be creative in your requests and do not forget can ask!)

The 2 friends are very attentive!

Brice and Paul: you have to take part in this league!!

TV: The start will take place in 2 weeks in Rustboro City.
So see you soon, Hoenn!

Paul: I go to the professor's lab right away to get a Pokémon!

Brice: on a time of the know.

Scene 2:
Brice is looking in his father's old trainer business to see if you have anything useful.

Brice finds old pokeballs!

He tries them out and a legendary Pokémon comes out of the last ... (off the screen)

Brice: It's great with this Pokémon I'll be unbeatable.

Scene 3:

2 weeks later ...

Brice and Paul are at the Rustboro City Arena

Roxanne welcomes them:

Roxanne: hello challenger I am the champion Roxanne if you want to follow me.

The small group arrives in a battle arena.

Paul: go ahead, you have no chance anyway

Brice: thank you very much!

Transition after the fight.

Roxanne: congratulations challenger! you have won.

Paul: what was this great pokemon! It's not just me I just started!

Roxanne: you're the first one to beat me right ask what you want.

Brice: he has something but it's a little embarrassing.

Roxanne: You can tell me if you're upset.

Brice whispers in Roxanne's ear.

Roxanne: It's okay with me.


Sex Scene 1:
https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post& ... id=2570505
blow job + cunnilingus

Scene 4:
During the following days Brice always arrives first in the arena and massacres the champions.

Brice arrives at the arena of Lavaridge (Brice is always alone in mind)

Flannery: Hi, I'm Flannery the champion of Lavaridge City specializing in pokemon fire.
Are you a challenger?

Brice:
Yes, and I hope to win the prize for the young trainers of your arena!

Flannery:
Comment it's possible that you came here so fast?

Brice:
you will understand once the fight has begun.
Flannery: All right let's go there
after the fight:
Flannery: I admit my defeat you are too strong for me.
As agreed you can ask me what you want.
Choose only the bonuses of a single reward.
Brice: I already chose!
I want you to make me a titsjob!
Flannery: uh ... are you on your choice?
Brice: yes, I'm sure.
Flannery: All right, I'll do the best tits job of your life!
Sex Scene 2:
http://holly.paheal.net/_images/df90fe6 ... rkyman.png
scene 5:
brice continues his winning streak arrived at Fortree City
brice: where is the arena of this city?
I am totally lost!
Winona: Are you looking for the arene young man?
brice: where do you know where it is?
Winona: you fell on the right person, I am the champion of this city.
Enchant my name is Winona.
Come with me I'll take you to the arena.
On my way:
You will not be Brice by chance?
Brice: yes, it's me
Winona: I've heard a lot about you especially from the champions you've already beaten, I know what you asked them.

Brice: So you knew what's waiting for you in a short time?

Winona: Do you really think you can beat me?

Brice: yes and I have already chosen what I will ask.
Winona: here we are.

After the match:

Winona: the other champions did not lie to me you really have a gift for dressage.
Very good what do you want as a reward?

Brice: I want to fuck you all night!

Winona: I was not expecting it ...
I'm just preparing an outfit especially for you.

Sex scene 3:
Outfit: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/ori ... 5/cb1.jpeg
Position:
http://www.bisexualdave.com/wp-content/ ... hay-03.jpg

vaginal sex + anal sex (between the two we release the breasts of Winona)

Cum in anal

Scene 6:
Brice arrives at the Hoenn pokemon league where Paul expects him to be depressed

Brice: Hi Paul: you do not look good, what's happening to you?

Paul: there are only the prices of the council 4. I managed to get here before you but I got slaughtered! you have won everything and I lost everything to you the honor of winning the last reward.

Brice: you are my friend I will not leave you in this situation if you want I can share my rewards with you.

Paul: that would be great!

Brice: wait for me here I take care of the Elite oven I come back with the rewards.
Brice: Hi Paul: you do not look good, what's happening to you?

Paul: there are only the prices of the council 4. I managed to get here before you but I got slaughtered! you have won everything and I lost everything to you the honor of winning the last reward.

Brice: you are my friend I will not leave you in this situation if you want I can share my rewards with you.

Paul: that would be great!

Brice: wait for me here I take care of the Elite oven I come back with the rewards.

Brice enters the room of the Elite oven

1 hour after ...

Brice comes out of the league with phoebe and Glacia

Brice: it's good here is the reward!
I present to you Phoebe master of the specter type and Glacia ice master

I have a very special reward for you!

Which of the two do you want to fuck first? (Paul is virgin)

Paul: Brice you are the best!

I will start with phoebe or Glacia! (selection in the dialog)

Sex scene 4:
http://lotus.paheal.net/_images/bc05bfd ... man.jpgice

Vaginal fuck => cum in pussy (option: cum in face and boobs)

Brice fucking the girl Paul did not choose

End

[Kelumir]

hello, which one could check the mistakes on my next submission ?

I'd be glad to. Though I'm a little confused by the opening scenario description.

Indeed, this year the first donating challenger is the first league and as a trainer to beat a champion to ask him, please choose who cannot refuse.

I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say here, as the sentence doesn't quite seem to make sense. Could you please try explaining it for me?

[Titlover96@gmail.com]

I have a GREAT idea for a Wonder Woman game!

If there are any premium members please submit it!!!

Here's the script: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=163

Please the world needs this

[crocdeloup]

Answer for kelumir :
In my scenario, the first person to beat a champion can ask anything she wants


for Titlover96@gmail.com :
Stop the post 50 times the same message you are annoying, if your idea interested someone you will talk about it !

[Kelumir]

Answer for kelumir :
In my scenario, the first person to beat a champion can ask anything she wants

Yes, I understand that.
It is the sentence itself that I don't understand.

Indeed, this year the first donating challenger is the first league and as a trainer to beat a champion to ask him, please choose who cannot refuse.

This is the part that I don't understand. What is "the first donating challenger is the first league" meant to mean? Please try to explain that part to me in a bit more detail.

Also, there are a few other lines I'm confused by. Could you please try to explain these as well?

Scenario:
Scene 1: Brice is at his friend Paul's place. They are sitting around watching TV.

Brice: Urrgh... God I’m so bored! Seriously, our village is so lost, I bet it's not even on the map.

Paul: Your reason for being our daughter Age here. (Brice and Paul are 20 years old)

An advertisement starts playing on the TV:

(Seriously, I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say here. )

Paul: I’m going to the professor's lab right away to get a Pokémon!

Brice: on a time of the know.

Scene 2:

Transition to after the fight.

Paul: What was that great Pokémon!? It's not just me I just started!

Roxanne: Congratulations challenger! You've won, and you're the first one to beat me. Right, feel free to ask whatever you want.

[crocdeloup]

"the first donating challenger is the first league" = basically the first person won against a champion little asks anything he wants.

Paul: Your reason for being our daughter Age here. (Brice and Paul are 20 years old) =Paul says there is no girl their age

Brice: on a time of the know. = Brice: we have time you know

Paul: What was that great Pokémon!? It's not just me I just started! = paul complains because brice has a super strong pokemon while he had his pokemon at level 1 (he's bad)

sorry I wrote my idea in French and then I translated it so there is a lot of error of meaning

[Kelumir]

Ah, I see. Don't worry. I blame whatever translator you used, not you.